Family IT Guy Podcast
Ben Gillenwater helps families protect children from digital dangers, bringing 30 years of cybersecurity expertise to the parenting journey. His background includes working with the NSA and serving as Chief Technologist of a $10 billion IT company, where he built global-scale systems and understood technology's risks at every level.
His mission began when he gave his young son an iPad with "kid-safe" apps—only to discover inappropriate content days later. Despite his deep technical background, Ben realized that if protecting children online was challenging for him, it must be even more difficult for parents without his expertise.
Through Family IT Guy, Ben creates videos and articles that help parents and kids learn how to leverage the positive parts of the internet while avoiding the dangerous and risky parts. His approach bridges the knowledge gap between complex technology and practical family protection, making digital safety accessible to everyone.
Episodes

5 days ago
5 days ago
4 min
If someone targets your child online, here's who's already looking for them and exactly how to report it.I'm Ben, the Family IT Guy - a dad and a cybersecurity expert with 30 years of experience. I made this video in partnership with the U.S. Department of Homeland Security's Know2Protect campaign. Homeland Security Investigations (HSI) is the part of DHS with dedicated federal agents and computer forensic analysts who spend every day finding and stopping the people who exploit kids online - but they can only act on threats that get reported.In this video I walk through a real case: a teenage boy was sextorted (an online predator posed as another kid, got him to send a private photo, then threatened to share it unless he paid). He told his mom, she reported it, and a federal agent was at their door within 48 hours. That's the system working - the piece missing for most families is knowing it exists.If a predator targets your child, there are two ways to report it:Know2Protect Tip Line: 1-833-591-KNOW (5669)NCMEC CyberTipline: https://report.cybertip.orgBefore anything happens, go to https://know2protect.gov and take the Pledge2Protect with your kids. It walks your family through how predators actually operate, the warning signs to watch for, and practical safety steps you can put in place together.Chapters:0:00 A message to predators0:32 A message for parents1:02 Meet Ben, the Family IT Guy1:23 You're not alone: meet HSI1:48 A real case: sextortion stopped in 48 hours2:43 How to report: two ways to get help3:25 What you can do right now4:04 Take the Pledge2Protect, then share itFamily IT Guy helps parents protect their kids from the two biggest digital dangers: addictive algorithms and anonymous communication, and the ways AI is making both worse.Website: https://www.familyitguy.comListen to the Family IT Guy Podcast:Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/family-it-guy-podcast/id1831912044Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/72yZUVsOqdDk7en5FS9U8g#Know2Protect #Pledge2Protect #parenting #onlinesafety #digitalparenting #kidsonline #cybersecurity #familyitguy

Aug 20, 2026

Aug 13, 2026

Aug 11, 2026
Aug 11, 2026
3 min
The apps are free, the games are free, email and search and videos are free. But free is not really free. The payment is your family's data, time, and attention. There is another internet where you pay a few dollars and become the customer instead of the product, and here is what it costs and where to start.One question sorts the whole internet: how does a company make its money? If the answer is advertising, the product being sold is your attention, and the app is built to collect as much of it as it can. If the answer is subscriptions, you are the customer, and the company stays in business by keeping you happy. Ben walks through the paid, privacy-respecting options by category: email like Proton or Fastmail for about ten to twenty dollars a month, search like Kagi for about five dollars a month, messaging like Signal, which is free and run by a nonprofit, and paid kids' games without the ads and tracking built into free ones.He also explains how to check a "we're private" claim: open source, which means the app's code is public so outside experts can inspect what it actually does. You do not have to switch everything at once. Start with one, like search, then try getting your close friends and family onto Signal with you.Proton: https://proton.meFastmail: https://www.fastmail.comKagi: https://kagi.comSignal: https://signal.orgChapters:0:00 Free isn't free0:37 The one question that sorts the internet1:07 The paid alternatives, category by category1:47 How to tell honest apps from dishonest ones2:20 Start with one changeWatch the whole series, How the Internet Really Works: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLc3jDQHQdQekMore in this series:It Started With Bacon (How Free Apps Make Money): https://youtu.be/FQbVOHcQRMEThe Cloud Is Someone Else's Computer: https://youtu.be/NsYAPKyJhXgShould You Accept or Reject Cookies?: https://youtu.be/EEt33DXh--gYou're the Product, Not the Customer: https://youtu.be/UWBA-VcLOGEFamily IT Guy helps parents protect their kids from the two biggest digital dangers: addictive algorithms and anonymous communication, and the ways AI is making both worse. Ben Gillenwater spent 30 years in cybersecurity, and he teaches this as a parent in the same trenches you are.iPhone Parental Controls Masterclass: https://www.familyitguy.com/iphone-masterclassWebsite and free guides: https://www.familyitguy.comListen to the Family IT Guy Podcast:Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/family-it-guy-podcast/id1831912044Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/72yZUVsOqdDk7en5FS9U8g#parenting #onlinesafety #digitalparenting #kidsonline #cybersecurity #familyitguy

Aug 6, 2026
Aug 6, 2026
55 min
Most parents feel stuck on video games: ban them and your kid feels left out, allow them and you worry about who's on the other end of the chat. Devyn Ricks has spent her whole life in games and now runs Miss Devyn's Video Game Universe, where a team of teachers hosts moderated online gaming clubs for kids. She's also a mom of four.In this conversation she walks through how she decides which games her own kids play, why she's a hard pass on Roblox, the simple signal that tells you a game is doing more harm than good, and how to check whether any game is safe even if you've never picked up a controller. We also get into why a console beats an iPad, which system to buy at each age, and why teaching kids the "why" protects them long after the rules stop working.If gaming is a fight in your house, this one is for you.Chapters: 0:00 Meet Miss Devyn and her video-game clubs 2:14 What the clubs actually do (and why community matters) 13:23 Games are neutral: how you use them is everything 15:16 Why she's a hard pass on Roblox, and reading your kid's cues 18:38 If a game is free, your child is the product: console vs iPad 24:52 How to vet any new game (research, chat settings, observe) 31:03 The hard truth about who's online, and staying involved 34:32 Skills, not rules 38:16 What game system to buy at every age 48:09 The biggest misconception about kids who game 53:49 One piece of advice: play the game with your kidFind Devyn: Miss Devyn's Video Game Universe — missdevyn.com YouTube: @MissDevynsVGUTikTok: @MissDevynGames Classes on Outschool: search "Miss Devyn"Family IT Guy helps parents protect their kids from the two biggest digital dangers: addictive algorithms and anonymous communication. Learn the problems, protect your family, start with yourself.Get the iPhone Parental Controls guide: familyitguy.com

Aug 4, 2026
Aug 4, 2026
3 min
Every website asks you to accept or reject cookies, and most of us click Accept just to clear the box. Clicking Reject barely helps either. Here is what the pop-up actually does and the free change that does more for your family's privacy than the button ever will.A cookie is a small file a website saves on your device so it can recognize you. Some cookies are useful, like the one that keeps you logged in or remembers your cart. Tracking cookies are the problem: they follow you from site to site and build a profile of what you read, shop for, and watch, which advertisers pay for. The pop-up is left over from privacy laws the ad industry has already worked around, so even Reject leaves you tracked in other ways.The real fix is a browser that blocks trackers for you on every site. On iPhone, iPad, and Mac, Safari already does this. On Windows or Android, use Firefox instead of Chrome or Edge, and set it as the default on your devices and your kids' devices. Then tell your kids why you changed it. The lesson is bigger than cookies: everything you do on the internet should be treated as public.Chapters:0:00 The cookie question0:28 What a cookie actually is1:03 Why clicking Reject barely helps1:32 The free fix: a private browser2:12 What to tell your kidsWatch the whole series, How the Internet Really Works: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLc3jDQHQdQekMore in this series:It Started With Bacon (How Free Apps Make Money): https://youtu.be/FQbVOHcQRMEThe Cloud Is Someone Else's Computer: https://youtu.be/NsYAPKyJhXgShould You Accept or Reject Cookies?: https://youtu.be/EEt33DXh--gYou're the Product, Not the Customer: https://youtu.be/UWBA-VcLOGEFamily IT Guy helps parents protect their kids from the two biggest digital dangers: addictive algorithms and anonymous communication, and the ways AI is making both worse. Ben Gillenwater spent 30 years in cybersecurity, and he teaches this as a parent in the same trenches you are.iPhone Parental Controls Masterclass: https://www.familyitguy.com/iphone-masterclassWebsite and free guides: https://www.familyitguy.comListen to the Family IT Guy Podcast:Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/family-it-guy-podcast/id1831912044Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/72yZUVsOqdDk7en5FS9U8g#parenting #onlinesafety #digitalparenting #kidsonline #cybersecurity #familyitguy

Jul 28, 2026
Jul 28, 2026
4 min
When you save something to the cloud, it does not float in the sky. It goes to a real building full of computers that a company owns, and that company can usually read what is stored there.Ben spent years designing and running data centers, including one for the F-18 fighter jet program, so he can show you what "the cloud" actually is: warehouses full of servers in real cities, keeping copies of your photos, messages, and files. You cannot realistically quit the cloud. What you can control is whether the companies holding your data can read it. That comes down to encryption, which means scrambling your files so only a private key can unlock them, and who holds that key. If you hold it, only you can read your files. If a company holds it, they can too.Ben shares the services he pays for and uses himself for this: Proton for email, files, photos, and passwords, and Signal for private messages and calls. Start by moving one thing you care about to a service that hands you the key.Proton: https://proton.meSignal: https://signal.orgChapters:0:00 Where your data really goes0:40 What the cloud actually is1:12 Watch the data leave a computer2:52 How to keep private things private3:32 Why this matters for our kidsWatch the whole series, How the Internet Really Works: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLc3jDQHQdQekMore in this series:It Started With Bacon (How Free Apps Make Money): https://youtu.be/FQbVOHcQRMEThe Cloud Is Someone Else's Computer: https://youtu.be/NsYAPKyJhXgShould You Accept or Reject Cookies?: https://youtu.be/EEt33DXh--gYou're the Product, Not the Customer: https://youtu.be/UWBA-VcLOGEFamily IT Guy helps parents protect their kids from the two biggest digital dangers: addictive algorithms and anonymous communication, and the ways AI is making both worse. Ben Gillenwater spent 30 years in cybersecurity, and he teaches this as a parent in the same trenches you are.iPhone Parental Controls Masterclass: https://www.familyitguy.com/iphone-masterclassWebsite and free guides: https://www.familyitguy.comListen to the Family IT Guy Podcast:Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/family-it-guy-podcast/id1831912044Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/72yZUVsOqdDk7en5FS9U8g#parenting #onlinesafety #digitalparenting #kidsonline #cybersecurity #familyitguy

Jul 21, 2026
Jul 21, 2026
6 min
Almost everything online is free because the internet is a marketing engine, and the fuel it runs on is your family's data, time, and attention.In the 1920s a bacon company hired a man named Edward Bernays to sell more bacon. He got physicians to endorse a big breakfast, newspapers ran their opinions as news, and bacon and eggs became "the American breakfast." That method, borrow a trusted voice, hide who is paying, and make the message look like advice, built the modern advertising industry. For most of the last century it had two limits: advertisers could not see exactly who got their message, and they could not change it per person. The internet removed both. Every tap, every pause while you scroll, every video you half watch is measured, and the message adjusts to you in real time.Ben explains why that makes the internet dangerous for kids. The real problem is not screen time, it is marketing exposure time. Youth suicide is now the second leading cause of death among young people, and for kids aged 10 to 14 the rate tripled between 2007 and 2018. He gives you one question to ask about anything your kids use for free: who is paying for this, and what are they buying? If the answer is advertisers buying attention, that is a red flag, and a lot of the most popular apps fall into that category. Tell your kids the bacon story. Once a kid can spot the hidden sponsor in their breakfast, they start spotting it everywhere.Chapters:0:00 The bacon story1:07 The method behind modern advertising1:42 How the internet changed the game3:11 Why this is dangerous for kids5:18 What you can doSources:Meta's advertising revenue, about 98% of its total: https://www.sec.gov/Archives/edgar/data/1326801/000162828026003942/meta-20251231.htmEdward Bernays and the Beech-Nut bacon campaign: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_BernaysYouth suicide statistics, CDC: https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db471.htmWatch the whole series, How the Internet Really Works: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLc3jDQHQdQekMore in this series:It Started With Bacon (How Free Apps Make Money): https://youtu.be/FQbVOHcQRMEThe Cloud Is Someone Else's Computer: https://youtu.be/NsYAPKyJhXgShould You Accept or Reject Cookies?: https://youtu.be/EEt33DXh--gYou're the Product, Not the Customer: https://youtu.be/UWBA-VcLOGEFamily IT Guy helps parents protect their kids from the two biggest digital dangers: addictive algorithms and anonymous communication, and the ways AI is making both worse. Ben Gillenwater spent 30 years in cybersecurity, and he teaches this as a parent in the same trenches you are.iPhone Parental Controls Masterclass: https://www.familyitguy.com/iphone-masterclassWebsite and free guides: https://www.familyitguy.comListen to the Family IT Guy Podcast:Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/family-it-guy-podcast/id1831912044Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/72yZUVsOqdDk7en5FS9U8g#parenting #onlinesafety #digitalparenting #kidsonline #cybersecurity #familyitguy

Jul 3, 2026
Jul 3, 2026
1 hr 14 min
Titania Jordan is the Chief Parenting Officer at Bark. She sat down with Ben Gillenwater to walk through what she's seeing in how kids actually use their phones, what scares her most, and what you can do about it without being technical.They get into a lot: why the free apps your kid uses aren't really free, why your kid is already using AI and who should be teaching them, the slang and rating systems kids use on each other that most parents have never heard of, and the red flags that an online "friend" is really a predator. They also dig into the parts of Big Tech's parental controls that don't actually work, what good monitoring really does, and one simple thing any parent can do today.A couple of numbers from the conversation: suicide is the second leading cause of death for kids 10 to 14 in the US, behind accidents, according to the CDC. Titania also shares two of Bark's own numbers: about 80% of the time, parents had no idea their kid was struggling until an alert flagged it, and Bark now helps protect around 7.5 million kids.Ben reviewed the Bark Phone earlier this year, and references that review here: https://www.familyitguy.com/bark-phone-review.htmlThe iPhone Parental Controls Masterclass walks you through locking down your kid's iPhone, every setting, step by step: https://courses.familyitguy.com/iphoneIf you ever find out a child is being targeted or exploited online, you can report it to the NCMEC CyberTipline at https://report.cybertip.org/. If you or someone you love is struggling, the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is there any time at https://988lifeline.org/.Chapters:0:00 Intro: Titania Jordan, Chief Parenting Officer of Bark0:52 How she became a Chief Parenting Officer5:34 Free isn't free: how platforms monetize your time6:48 An MBA for kids: teaching them the business model7:25 Dopamine, frame rate, and overstimulated kids15:08 Nobody is teaching your kid AI, except you17:40 Where AI belongs for kids, and where it doesn't23:16 Why Bark exists: 80% of parents had no idea28:52 Big Tech's parental controls are theater (Apple, TikTok)33:21 Apple walked back catching child abuse images34:45 There's no such thing as a friend in a corporation36:41 Nobody at Bark reads your kid's texts: how it works41:05 You're not authoritarian, you're being a parent42:30 Privacy belongs to your child; you're the steward47:46 Decoding what your kids are really saying (the slang)55:15 The phone that won't let a kid take a nude58:00 The predator playbook: grooming red flags1:00:41 "Disappearing" messages don't disappear (Snap, screenshots)1:04:06 No company is your friend, but some still do good1:06:23 Judge a company by how it measures success1:09:19 Roblox: who are you actually funding?1:10:37 The one free thing every parent can do1:12:28 Close: protecting millions of kidsFamily IT Guy helps parents protect their kids from the two biggest digital dangers: addictive algorithms and anonymous communication, and the ways AI is making both worse. Ben Gillenwater spent 30 years in cybersecurity, and he teaches this as a parent in the same trenches you are.Website and free guides: https://www.familyitguy.comGuest: Titania Jordan, Chief Parenting Officer of Bark.#parenting #onlinesafety #digitalparenting #kidsonline #cybersecurity #familyitguy

Jun 18, 2026
Jun 18, 2026
1 hr 13 min
How do you talk to your kids about pornography before the internet does it for them? Chris McKenna founded Protect Young Eyes to help parents answer exactly that, and his approach surprises most people: the fix is not a better filter. It is a braver and more frequent conversation.Most of us are scared of this talk, so we put it off, and putting it off is the one move that leaves a kid alone with whatever they find. Chris makes the case for the opposite. Make the conversation normal. Start early, keep it casual, have it often, so your kid runs to you when something feels wrong instead of hiding it. Shine light on the topic.We get into the number that stopped me cold. In every child-on-child case the counselors Chris interviewed had handled that year, the child who had harmed another had been exposed to pornography early in childhood. We talk about why a young brain has no "file" for what it is seeing, then we get practical: ten conversations before age 10, the porn talk you can have in the car without ever saying the word "porn", and how to make yourself the person your kid comes to.MORE FROM CHRIS McKENNAOrder his book, 5 Habits of the Tech-Ready Family (out June 16 2026): https://www.techreadyfamily.comProtect Young Eyes: https://protectyoungeyes.comDigital parenting coaching, The Table: https://protectyoungeyes.com/the-tableThe Ultimate Guide to Understanding Routers: https://www.protectyoungeyes.com/devices/the-ultimate-guide-to-understanding-routersCHAPTERS0:00 Welcome1:05 How Chris got into this10:39 The realities of porn today20:04 Young brains can't process it21:28 The 100% statistic24:00 Make Porn the Norm (the reframe)28:14 10 before 1030:28 Where kids really see it35:11 How to actually have the talk43:42 Porn isn't real sex57:31 The one fix at AppleSOURCESThe 100% figure is from Chris McKenna's interviews with counselors at Children's Assessment Centers, which work with both the child who was harmed and the child who caused harm. More on his research at https://protectyoungeyes.comABOUT CHRIS McKENNAChris is the founder of Protect Young Eyes and president of The Better Tech Project. He testified before the U.S. Senate in 2019, co-authored the Child Device Protection Bill that is now law in Utah and Alabama, and is featured in the documentary Childhood 2.0. Publishers Weekly calls his new book "comprehensive," "illuminating," and "an informative resource for parents eager to establish digital safety nets for their children."ABOUT FAMILY IT GUYBen Gillenwater is a cybersecurity expert and dad who helps parents protect their kids from the two biggest digital dangers: addictive algorithms and anonymous communication.#digitalparenting #onlinesafety #pornography #raisingkids #parentingtips #protectyoungeyes #screentime #familyitguy





